Age Gaps in Relationships: 7 Scientific Facts

By Sebastian Ocklenburg, Ph.D.

Key points

• Age gaps in relationships are common.
• Only 10% of men have a substantially older female partner.
• Typically, the older partner is happier in an age gap relationship.

Age gaps in relationships are a hot topic in psychological research. Here are 7 recent scientific insights about them:

1. Men live longer if they have a younger partner, and women live longer if their partner is the same age.

A Danish study (Drefahl, 2010) found that men lived longer, if they had a younger female partner. This could be explained by the positive social and emotional effects of having a younger partner, but also potentially by the ability of a younger partner to provide caregiving in later life stages. For example, men with a wife who is 15 years younger them themselves had a 4% reduced chance of dying compared to other men. For women, however, the lowest risk of dying is found when they are the same age as their husbands, probably reflecting differences in caregiving between men and women.

2. Men who are much younger than their wives are very rare.

The same study also reported, that in heterosexual relationships, it is mostly the man who is the older partner. 75% of men are married to a woman who is at least one year younger than they are (Drefahl, 2010). In contrast, only 10% of men are one or more years younger than their wives. The remaining 15% are roughly the same age as their wives.

3. Both men and women prefer younger partners, but men more so.

A study from 2024 (Gottfried and co-workers, 2024) found that the older people get, the more they prefer to have a younger partner. This was true for both men and women, but the effect was stronger for men. For example, 70-year-old men on average preferred 58-year-old female partners. In contrast, 70-year-old women on average preferred 68.5-year-old male partners.

4. The average age gap in relationships worldwide is 4.2 years.

A study from 2022 that analyzed data on age gaps in heterosexual relationships from 130 countries found that worldwide, men are on average 4.2 years older than their female partners (Ausubel and co-workers, 2022).

5. Age gaps in relationships show huge differences between countries.

The same study also reported that the average age gap in heterosexual relationships varied widely between different countries. In North America, men were on average only 2.2 years older than their female partners, while in Europe, men were on average 2.7 years older than their female partners. In contrast, the average age gap was 8.7 years in Bangladesh, 11.8 years in Nigeria, and even 14.8 years in Gambia (Ausubel and co-workers, 2022).

6. The older partner is happier with the relationship than the younger partner.

For men, it was observed that heterosexual men dating a woman at least seven years younger than themselves had a substantially higher overall relationship satisfaction than men dating women at least seven years older than them (Banbury and co-workers, 2025). This effect was not found for women, who could be very satisfied with both older and younger partners.

7. Perceived financial stability is higher for younger women dating older men.

The same study also reported that perceived financial stability is something wherein the younger partner is happier than the older. In the study, young women who dated older men perceived financial stability as higher with an older partner compared to being with a younger partner. Such an effect was not found for younger men dating older women (Banbury and co-workers, 2025).

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References

Ausubel, J., Kramer, S., Shi, A. F., & Hackett, C. (2022). Measuring age differences among different-sex couples: Across religions and 130 countries, men are older than their female partners. Population studies, 76(3), 465–476.

Banbury, S., Pacan, B., Kostadinova, D., Hada, J., Morriss-Roberts, C., Quarcoo, S., & Chandler, C. (2025). The relationship between age-gap relationships/dating, sexual function, relationship satisfaction, sexual self-efficacy and well-being. Sexual and Relationship Therapy, 1–16.

Drefahl S. (2010). How does the age gap between partners affect their survival?. Demography, 47, 313–326.

Gottfried, J., Ševčíková, A., Blinka, L., & Lambert South, A. (2024). Couples age discrepancies in a large-scale European sample: Evolutionary and sociocultural perspectives. Personal Relationships, 31(4), 987–1000.

(Source : psychologytoday.com)